I wrote this the other day.

I wrote this the other day, and posted it somewhere that is not here. And I wasn’t going to post it, but then I did. Sometimes I miss writing. I used to do so much of it in high school. Blogging is kind of the same. Anyway…

A good friend of mine lost her mom last week to cancer. Today was the funeral. I couldn’t attend as it was far away, but I read the “eugoogley” (eulogy, in Zoolander terms- and yes, she did title it that) that my friend wrote, and it moved me to tears.

I’ve lost loved ones, and every time it wrenches my heart to pieces. I hate funerals more than most things in the world, because they are such a hard thing to face.

The fact that my friend could write such a heartwarming “eugoogley” to remember her goofy mom the way she was exactly makes me wonder what mine would say. I’m the weird person that actually reads obituaries on a regular basis, not because I find them morbid, but because they are a reminder of what I want my life to look like written on paper one day when I’m no longer here.

I want my friends and family to remember me as a giggling dork that embraced life and all that came with it, that laughed so hard I cried on a regular basis because life was just so beautiful. That I mattered and hopefully made others feel like they mattered, too. That I cared and made a difference. I want my funeral to be a big celebration of the random and not-so-random life experiences I was able to have, not a sad reading of how depressing it is that I’m no longer breathing.

In fact, I’d greatly appreciate it if my life on Earth were celebrated with an obscene amount of M&Ms, tons of pictures, a reading of my favorite children’s books, and a raging, ground-thumping dance party at which everyone, even my non-dancing mother, will shake what their mamas gave them. And probably, for good measure, there will need to be a sing-along of my favorite songs.

… Because that’s what makes my heart beat.

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One response to this post.

  1. Thanks for posting, Holly. I don’t have any words of wisdom to add, but similar thoughts to yours have been on my mind lately. I think life gets so busy, sometimes we have to take a step back and remember why we’re doing it.

    Reply

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