A list

I am in a weird mood, probably because today I am forced to wear the color green because the calendar tells me so. After a few traumatic pinching episodes in middle school, I have not been a big fan of this holiday (and others) simply because I don’t think any of us actually know why we celebrate it, or why we’re forced to wear green. Who can tell me the real story behind St. Patrick’s Day (without looking it up on Wikipedia)?

Most things in my life, I am able to give a somewhat answer for most things, even if the answer is, “I just do.” or, “I just don’t.” For example, “Why did you choose the tattoo you did.” Well, I woke up one morning, decided I wanted a tattoo, and dragged Ed five blocks south to get inked. For many things in my life, I don’t have strong opinions, or coherent opinions.

There is, however, an ever-growing list of words that I cannot stand. (This, of course, being a separate list from words that are racially/ethnically/linguistically/other-ly offensive.)  I don’t really know why they bother me, but they do. A lot. Here are some of them. Please don’t ever use them in front of me, as they are like nails on a chalkboard. Also, keep in mind that I normally talk like a 13-year-old and use “like” more than appropriate, so I am not claiming to be a perfect speaker. 🙂

  • moist
  • gal
  • trellis
  • sweetie
  • epic (extremely overused, especially in collegiate environments)
  • hun
  • adorable (unless used to describe a pet or someone under the age of seven)
  • rural (i cannot say it properly)
  • panties
  • netterwebs (seriously. if you ever say netterwebs around me i will cry. You may use the words Internet or the Web. don’t. ever. combine.)
  • creamy
  • lol, lolz, lololo, LOL, etc. gross. gross. gross. If you ever write me a text or an email that says “I just LOL’ed”… we are no longer friends. no discussion.
  • ointment
  • organic (used in any other way except food. Please don’t ever tell me that your relationship is the most “organic” one you’ve ever been in or that your church community is “organic.”)
  • crunk
  • webinar
  • staycation
  • soups. i hate the words soups. singular soup is fine, but plural soups induces (induce?) vomit.
  • redonkulous

i’ll probably think of more. i’m picky.


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Alyssa Boob on March 18, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    I use a lot of these, especially LOL and epic.

    You should watch that episode of 30 Rock called Rural Juror, it is pretty funny, they say the two words really fast together so they sound like Rurr-ur Jurr-urr and Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) can’t figure out what her friend is saying.


  2. Posted by Kim L on March 25, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    HAHAHAHA. Can I still say OMG? The image of an “organic community church”… do they grow their own organic potluck dinners or what?

    Okay I admit I have never heard netterwebs before, but it sounds like the “nether-regions of the internets”, which is a kind of amusing image. But weird.


    • Posted by hmpier on March 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm

      YES. OMG for some reason is still ok by me. Probably because all of my student workers say it, and it makes me laugh.


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